Sweet Dreams, Counselor
by stranger12
Summary: Alicia is out of town and Will has to deal with Colin Sweeney


**The Good Wife – Sweet Dreams, Counselor**

Alicia is out of town and Will has to deal with Colin Sweeney

* * *

Will would be the first to admit that Alicia had had the unfortunate privilege of having some of the most... Peculiar clients the firm had ever had. She was also ever gracious in handling them, putting out fires with a grace that hid the rage of her annoyance and anger towards their most outlandish behavior.

Case in point.

She had taken a much awaited vacation with her children, just a week, and Will and Diane had been more than confident that they would be able to handle her clients in the meantime.

Colin Sweeney seemed determined to test that resolve. Diane, brilliant as she was cunning, had nodded along as she heard Mr. Sweeney's case and her smile– Will would have nightmares about it, because she simply turned to him and told their ever difficult client that he would be the one to deal with his case while Alicia was away. This, naturally, before Will could get a word in, and then he was all alone with a slowly but surely smirking Mr. Sweeney.

Oh joy.

"Mr. Gardner" – the man said silkily – "I think I shall enjoy our time together"

Alicia could not return fast enough, in Will's opinion, but it was only her first day away, and try as he might, he didn't think Mr. Sweeney's case would be a long one (now, he did not even think about if it would be painful, 'cause he had seen Alicia putting a pillow over her face and screaming in her office more than once after a meeting or phone call with the unique man, so he knew he was in for a very... Memorable case).

The case was not a hard one, at least. For once in his life, perhaps, Colin Sweeney was suing someone else, this time a man and a woman whom he blamed for breaking up his latest marriage. In other words, Will was once more thrust into an Alienation of Affection case. Diane, the evil, evil woman, had had a nice, long, cheerful laugh about it, and even David Lee had mocked him when they crossed paths on a hallway.

Great, just great.

Turned out, Mrs. Sweeney had been... Shall we say, persuaded into ending her relationship with her husband by Mr. Dominic Herbarzsenik and Ms. Amelia Zhang. The details of their interfering were a little bit foggy, as Mr. Sweeney seemed pretty put out by the entire situation, and could only tell Will that they had used 'all sorts of artifice and deceit in order to lure my beloved away!'. That he had known the soon to be former Mrs. Sweeney for three months, including the time they had been married, was not mentioned by either the client or the attorney.

"They have to pay for this" – Mr. Sweeney said, eyes raging in a way Will didn't think possible – "They can't just take someone's wife like this and get away with it!"

"Have you filed for divorce, Mr. Sweeney?"

"Lucia has" – he snorted – "I mean, it was very stupid of her, considering as per our pre–nup, she gets next to nothing this way"

"Yes, I am aware. But back to Mr. Herbarzsenik and Ms. Zhang–"

"Those snakes" – Mr. Sweeney hissed.

"Please refrain from using that language during the proceedings, if you will"

"Of course, of course, I know how these things go, no need to remind me, but we are all alone, are we not?"

"Naturally" – Will smiled tightly.

"And to answer your question... I mean, it's a little complicated, you know, all marriages are"

"I see"

"But those–! Those two" – he finished a little reluctantly – "They met with Lucia, and convinced her that our marriage was an affront to God and all that is sacred, and that she should leave me at once! Lucia is a very religious person, you see, and their pitch was tailored to her, I have no doubts"

"How did they meet your wife?"

"At a party we attended" – Will looked at Mr. Sweeney for more details – "I cannot disclose the location of the party, or who threw it, I signed an NDA"

"Ah"

"But I can say we all met there for the first time! Lucia, of course, was very taken by Dom, he is a fine specimen, no matter his true character, and Amy, I mean, Amelia, she entertained me for a bit before I found myself in better company... And then she went on to be with Dom and Lucia"

"For the record, was this an orgy or sex party of some kind?"

"I don't like those terms, they are so crass"

"If it was a party where willing people had sex with one another, Mr. Sweeney, I think it's fair to say it was a sex party, let's not fool around" – Mr. Sweeney smirked widely.

"Why, Mr. Gardner, is that a proposition?"

"... Sorry, but no"

* * *

As was to be expected, the case was pretty contentious. Mr. Herbarzsenik and Ms. Zhang said they had nothing to do with Mrs. Sweeney's decision to leave her husband. and Will had to argue that it was not the case at all, they had conspired to do so, and he used Mrs. Sweeney herself as a witness.

For all that she had clearly been manipulated by Mr. Herbarzsenik and Ms. Zhang, they had made many mistakes, and with the silver tongue he was so known for, Will easily broke through her defenses of the duo and allowed her to expose the means through which they actually did what Mr. Sweeney said they had done. Soon after the second meeting with the opposing counsel, Will got a call. They wanted to settle, as he expected, and after playing hardball for a while, they finally reached an amount Mr. Sweeney was fairly happy about.

Afterwards, Mr. Sweeney roped Will into joining him for a drink, stating he would not take 'no' for an answer, and finding no avenue of escape other than jumping out the window, Will reluctantly went along to some fancy bar that even he wouldn't go near, if only because the alcohol was highly overpriced and the clientele wasn't the kind he liked to have around (no matter that they would make good enough clients). Nevertheless, he accepted the drink Mr. Sweeney chose for him and pushed his way with only a slight grimace.

"To a successful partnership" – Mr. Sweeney raised his glass.

"To a grand win" – Will allowed, and they clinked glasses. He had to say, it could be well above what he might pay nearly anywhere else in town, but Will kind of liked what he was having.

"As much as I will be happy to see Mrs. Florrick when she returns" – Mr. Sweeney began, smirking just so – "I liked working with you, Mr. Gardner. Will"

"To be honest, Mr. Sweeney... It wasn't as bad as I thought it could be"

"Oh! The claws are out! I like it!"

"Eh, you're not going anywhere, you like Alicia way too much"

"That I do, she is a lovely woman, oh, what I wouldn't give for a moment of her time..."

"Excuse me?"

"Do excuse me, my mind wandered"

"... Right"

* * *

His phone was beeping somewhere... Around... And his hand found it.

"'lo?" – Will managed.

"Will? Are you alright?" – Alicia asked a little louder than he would have liked.

"Yeah?"

"You... You sent me a picture. Well, a few pictures, actually"

"I... What?"

"Last night? They were... Hum..." – Will opened his eyes and yawned.

"I don't know what you're talking about"

"Check your phone, we'll talk later. Rub viciously" – she hung up before he could determine what she was on about.

He sat on the bed and went over to the bathroom with some difficulty with his jelly legs and started when he took a look at himself in the mirror.

"What the fuck–?" – he whispered.

On one cheek was a crude drawing of a penis disguised as a middle finger, and on the other, there was Colin Sweeney's signature. Oh. Oh! The–! He was so enraged he could barely see straight, and he marched right back to his bed to grab and the phone and see what pictures Alicia had been talking about. At least her parting words made sense now.

"No" – he said in horror as he scrolled down the photos he'd sent Alicia. Mercifully it was only her, but they were– They–

Colin. Fucking. Sweeney. Oh, he would pay, he would SO pay!

* * *

Will handling Colin Sweeney if hilarious to me, so hopefully you guys agree =D


End file.
